| Gleh. |
[Jul. 20th, 2010|08:48 pm] |
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I really need to figure out a way to turn the emotional part of me back off, the way it was 3 years ago. Today blew chunks. |
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| SQUEE. |
[Jul. 12th, 2010|12:15 am] |
I don't think I've ever been so happy to be friended on FB before.
My dear friend Dave knows this already, but I met a girl at SanJapan, and I'm hoping things work out to a relationship between her and I. She's a TREKKIE!!! And she's cute, imo. ^.^
Just trying to take things slow, but the way my mind works, damn is that ever torture. |
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| Blah. |
[Apr. 29th, 2010|10:15 pm] |
Self esteem needs to not be a requisite in life. Mine's taking a pounding talking to my ex. I have to play nice and endure her teasing me that I don't get to fuck her anymore, since she owes me $700!!!
Of course, I also found out I'm unlikely to be an alcoholic, since I went to go take a shot and decided to throw out the small amount of liquor that was left in the bottles that have been there since October of last year. |
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| Fah. |
[Feb. 24th, 2010|12:50 am] |
Meh, screw it, I don't care if LJ is "uncool" these days I don't see a better format on the net for my little whiney posts.
So having somewhat of a mental breakdown here. Confronting failures and shortcomings in my own life and trying to acknowledge my responsibility of those. Confronting my lack of friends, and the ironic contradiction that I both crave human contact and despise it.
I need to have a woman again, but I don't want a relationship. FWB basically.
I need someone, a confidante, that I can talk to instead of the web-at-large about my issues.
I don't like talking about my feelings to other people.
Needs to be less I.
I need to focus more on what's right for me.
I need to start realizing that it's my own fault I'm stuck still where I am, and that I need to start talking to people if I want to break out into the world at large.
I'm socially inept. Seriously socially inept - pathologically, chronically, whatever.
I break up with my girlfriend of 2 years and all I miss is the sex? Does this mean things were over or that I never loved in the first place? And if I never loved, how the hell am I capable of doing so? And why can't I just push that to the side of my mind, and focus on the things that are really important, like my financial future? And then of course - is that more important? Of course it is, but I think by this point we're back to the top of the post.
I feel like a rat in a cage, mentally (socially) and physically (geographic confines of Kazoo).
-Stefan- |
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| Stan Winston dies! |
[Jun. 17th, 2008|02:35 pm] |
Stan Winston died today! Noooo... :(
-Stefan- |
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| BLENDER RULES. |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|08:19 am] |
Open-source is officially the coolest thing ever. From the time I started using Blender around two years ago, I've watched them develop it into an absolutely amazing program with features I didn't even know existed. It's just cool. I'm really starting to dig using non-square textures, and just recently they added native non-square support to Blender's development. Just damn cool.
-Stefan- |
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| BEVELS! |
[Feb. 28th, 2008|09:28 pm] |
Blender can do proper single-edge beveling!!!!
FUCK YES!
-Stefan- |
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sastrei87's journal
